Find Joseph’s story in Genesis 37-45.
Jacob loved his son Joseph deeply, more than he loved his other sons and they knew it. They were jealous and plotted to get rid of him. They dropped him in a pit, then sold him to a band of Midianite traders from Gilead and faked his death. The traders carried Joseph to Egypt and resold him to Potiphar, an Egyptian officer and captain of the guard for Pharaoh.
Wow, talk about a loss of control.
But the tragic events didn’t knock Joseph off his ladder. Somehow, someway, despite the circumstances that got him there, in a foreign land subject to another’s law, with no family and no idea of what was to become of him, he continued to build. He continued to trust in a God greater than the jobsite he couldn’t begin to control. So he worked with what he had. And God saw.
The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded in everything he did as he served in the home of his Egyptian master. [Genesis 39:2]
Sounds like things were looking up for Joseph, and perhaps he even felt in control of his life a bit again. If so, did the thought of losing that control become a fear because he began to trust in his own power and not be so dependent on God?
Was Joseph holding so tightly to everything he thought he controlled than the fear of losing it dictated every measured swing of his hammer? Probably not, but we can certainly get there sometimes, so convinced that we’ve mastered what we see and so afraid of it wiggling out of our grip like a box of nails knocked to the ground.
Joseph had reason to fear, but it’s easy to doubt that he did. When Potiphar’s wife propositioned him, he refused, so she accused him of improper advances, and Potiphar put him in prison. Through no fault of his own and when he was entrusted with everything Potiphar had [except his wife, of course], Joseph’s control again was ripped from him. He kept his trust and we begin to hear a familiar response from God.
But the Lord was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love. And the Lord made Joseph a favorite with the prison warden. The Lord was with him and caused everything he did to succeed [39:21, 23].
One example of Joseph’s success was his correct interpretation of a dream for the Pharaoh’s cupbearer [a trusted servant]. In return, Joseph asked for help in getting out of prison. Perhaps he thought he’d regained a little control.
Pharoah’s chief cupbearer, however, forgot all about Joseph, never giving him another thought. Two full years later . . . [40:23-41:1]
Wow, we know that kind of revolting development, as the saying goes. We know what it’s like to do everything we can and still not get where we want to go. We know what it’s like to see what we planned fall apart and hope disintegrate and despair set in. We know it well and maybe that’s why we hold on so tightly and fear that loss of control we think we’ve gained again. But God still knows more. Imagine that.
We don’t know much about those two years Joseph remained in prison, but clearly he was unafraid. He no doubt kept building, climbing as high as the circumstances would allow for the time, making where he was a reflection of God Himself.
Soon, Pharaoh asked Joseph to interpret some dreams, and he did. He guided Pharaoh with good advice, building where he was. And Pharaoh responded.
“Can we find anyone else like this man so obviously filled with the spirit of God? Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders” [41:38-40].
God planned it, he built it.
From starting to build in a pit in the desert to being put in charge of “the whole land of Egypt” [41:41], Joseph never lost his trust in God. Despite all the setbacks and injustices and everyone around him seeming to take his control away, we’re never told he was afraid.
Instead, Joseph used his time and resources wisely – something every builder must do. He made the most of every opportunity without giving up on God to be in control of everything he couldn’t see. And he stayed on that ladder no matter what, and because of that, we remember him today.
Pharaoh said to him, “I am Pharaoh, but no one will life a hand or foot in the entire land of Egypt without your approval” [41:44].
Now that’s control as our world would see it, but we can trust that Joseph knew Who was truly in control, because we know where he’d placed his trust, beginning to end.
May God bless your building . . . .
o ~ o ~ o
How will you become like Joseph and resolve to live and build today, even with little or no control?
How will you keep your trust in God instead of being afraid that He’s not with you?
How will you reflect God to those around you even in difficult circumstances?
o ~ o ~ o
Download this study of Joseph in pdf for easy printing for yourself or your group: Go here.
Thanks for being part of our tour . . . please post your comments and stories for all our readers. See you soon! God bless you.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
May, 2010 -- Overcoming the fear of rejection
Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
Do not fear; I will help you.
Isaiah 41:12-13
I don’t know how prevalent the fear of rejection is, but based on just what I’ve witnessed myself, it’s massive. Maybe it’s because we quite often try to be “people pleasers” and make everyone else happy at all costs. While there’s nothing wrong with being accommodating and thoughtful, what can happen is that we end up being too agreeable and are easily taken advantage of in an effort to be liked and accepted. And then it gets worse.
Sometimes we just never even attempt anything of our own or dare to dream our own dreams so that we won’t upset anyone else’s life or have to face criticism or rejection. It may seem like an easier life, but it’s never what God intends. Living with a fear of rejection means living a stunted, cluttered life – like a half-built house given way to the elements, overgrown grasses and condemned notices tacked on its splintered door facings. It’s a life unlived.
God doesn’t deal in rejection the way we see it—He doesn’t require perfection in our efforts or success in the world every time we venture out. We often make those requirements of ourselves, though, so afraid of being turned away or turned down, so fearful of being who we are because we think that isn’t enough. God knows something else. He knows that what makes us acceptable to Him is our willingness to live with Him in charge. Then rejection isn’t an issue—it’s all about reflection instead.
We accept God’s acceptance—trusting Him to never reject us and always lead us. And we reflect Him and His grace, forgiveness, generosity, care, everything in every effort we make. And in the security of God’s love and acceptance, we find purpose in all we do—it’s about reflecting Him the best we can [and we learn better every day, He’s a patient teacher] and leaving the worry and fear behind.
That means being a “God pleaser” instead of a “people pleaser” – being willing to risk rejection and overcome the setbacks because He’s still guiding us to our goals.
Rejection by those we love or hope to impress hurts, but it helps to remember that in all of that pain or sadness, God has a plan. He has a plan better than the one we see and we can only be a part of it if we continue to build. Wherever we’ve met shut doors and failed ideas, we look for what’s facing us when we turn away from the rejection. God’s still there, so our security is still there. And if we’re still here, we’ve still got a purpose that God will protect, no matter how often we feel like a letter with the wrong address on it.
There’s no rejection when we’re building what God’s said build. And today it may only be one nail in a whole big wall – one effort to reach out to someone and risk a rejection – but it’s enough if it’s what God asks today. Overcoming fears usually isn’t about one big, giant impressive act, but all those steady, small, one-to-one efforts made in trust that become scaffolding on which we stand to build a bigger temple.
-what in the past has caused you to fear rejection? What pain do you still carry from times of rejection that impact your behavior today?
-when have you overcome the fear of rejection to do what you wanted or needed to do, or what’s going on in your life right now that asks that of you?
o ~ o ~o
Please visit May's Partner Blogger: Terry at Breathing Grace and join her as well as we explore this topic.
Read below or download the study of Moses for yourself or your group.
Thanks for being part of our tour . . . please post your comments and stories for all our readers. See you soon! God bless you.
From the book . . .
Chapter 16
Rejection fear
Let me see . . . I’m guessing everything you do is completely accepted and loved by those around you. Others pay homage to your every word and deed, never uttering a critical peep. Ahhh . . . bliss. No? Really?
Rejection certainly isn’t pleasant, and I’m not sure it’s the most spiritual way to learn what our work is all about, but it’s effective. I know, because I can take anything now. That happens when your work (which is really you, and those who would criticize seem to consider that connection as meaningless as the dining habits of a snail) is rejected and criticized and denied with the regularity of the moon phases. Happens to me all the time.
And never one to miss an opportunity, my Architect and I have built a whole wing of my temple on that rejection. It’s taken a while—a painful while—but God’s a patient builder. Pity He’s had to make such an elaborate addition to my life here, but I suppose it has its benefits. Got a problem with rejection? I can help you with that.
I was once greatly afraid of an editor’s criticism, but too many instances of that (thank you, Lord—I’m practicing gratitude in “everything,” work with me here) and the fear that made me want to take my ladder down, dismantle and hide it has morphed into something else. It’s become safety glass to the erratic nail gun of my life. I still feel disappointed and convicted, but now unafraid to face what comes. That’s how we deal with the “disapproval” of men. We take it like a revision to the blueprint and see where it goes—constantly holding God’s plumb line to it.
Does He agree with someone else’s criticism? If so, what have I missed and how can I find it? How can my next steps lead me closer to His approval if I’ve wandered off course? Is my motive pure and does my work reflect His grace? Others’ voices help me double-check what I’m hearing from God, and then He’s the only one I listen to. That’s why the rejection becomes more mortar than chisel. It’s just part of the process.
I talked to a friend the other day about a relationship I’d tried to cultivate with a mutual acquaintance. Nothing worked. I’d sent gifts and cards, invited her for coffee, offered friendship—nothing. Zip. Zero response. Before she had me arrested for stalking, I said ok, enough, I’ll move on. My friend who loves me reacted to my story with a protective bent.
“It’s all right,” I told her. “I take rejection well.” And it was true. Not always, but in most cases, now I can respond when someone says no in a more grown-up way, looking to God for guidance and trying to measure His pleasure with my efforts. That keeps me building, able to reach out to others and risk the rejection again, able to write more words and risk the rejection again, able to face roomfuls of expectant faces and risk the rejection again. It’s the finished floor beneath me that holds me steady so that I can try again. And given my record, that’s a pretty thick floor.
The fear of rejection is hard to kill, like one of those psychotic, axe-wielding villains in the basement of a teen horror movie. The Hebrews didn’t want to be rejected and ridiculed by those around them, so they chose to face the disapproval of God. Maybe you have some of those situations around you today, making it easier to dig in the dirt than step up a little higher. That’s why God sends helpers.
Every jobsite has a foreman in charge and a lot of helpers—those who can’t do your building for you but who can help. They can read blueprints, gather supplies, measure boards, sharpen tools. God sends them to you, so look out for the helpers at your jobsite. Learn from them by taking advantage of the lessons they’ve already learned, by watching how they face their fears and stay on the ladder despite swinging in the wind.
Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
Psalm 28:6-7
And if your critics crash your party, let me help you with that. That’s part of why we’re here, now, meeting in this book. I pray when we’re done that you’re more able to stand tall and unafraid upon your ladder, trusting God and claiming His promises no matter what anybody else says or does. The best is yet to be, one rung at a time. Let us be helpers to each other.
Stalled, fearing the impossible on your to-do list? Can’t you just see Moses after conversing with God at the world’s original bonfire, hear the soft thud of the heel of his palm against the side of his tilted head, the confusion and fear drawing wrinkles on his brow? But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you” (Exodus 3:11-12). When God makes our to-do list, He never needs an eraser, because He knows what we have and what we don’t, and what we have is plenty, because it’s Him. Who am I, who are you to do His will? We’re who He’s chosen. He still promises He’s with you.
Read below or download the study of Moses for yourself or your group.
Rejection fear
Let me see . . . I’m guessing everything you do is completely accepted and loved by those around you. Others pay homage to your every word and deed, never uttering a critical peep. Ahhh . . . bliss. No? Really?
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24
Rejection certainly isn’t pleasant, and I’m not sure it’s the most spiritual way to learn what our work is all about, but it’s effective. I know, because I can take anything now. That happens when your work (which is really you, and those who would criticize seem to consider that connection as meaningless as the dining habits of a snail) is rejected and criticized and denied with the regularity of the moon phases. Happens to me all the time.
And never one to miss an opportunity, my Architect and I have built a whole wing of my temple on that rejection. It’s taken a while—a painful while—but God’s a patient builder. Pity He’s had to make such an elaborate addition to my life here, but I suppose it has its benefits. Got a problem with rejection? I can help you with that.
I was once greatly afraid of an editor’s criticism, but too many instances of that (thank you, Lord—I’m practicing gratitude in “everything,” work with me here) and the fear that made me want to take my ladder down, dismantle and hide it has morphed into something else. It’s become safety glass to the erratic nail gun of my life. I still feel disappointed and convicted, but now unafraid to face what comes. That’s how we deal with the “disapproval” of men. We take it like a revision to the blueprint and see where it goes—constantly holding God’s plumb line to it.
Does He agree with someone else’s criticism? If so, what have I missed and how can I find it? How can my next steps lead me closer to His approval if I’ve wandered off course? Is my motive pure and does my work reflect His grace? Others’ voices help me double-check what I’m hearing from God, and then He’s the only one I listen to. That’s why the rejection becomes more mortar than chisel. It’s just part of the process.
I talked to a friend the other day about a relationship I’d tried to cultivate with a mutual acquaintance. Nothing worked. I’d sent gifts and cards, invited her for coffee, offered friendship—nothing. Zip. Zero response. Before she had me arrested for stalking, I said ok, enough, I’ll move on. My friend who loves me reacted to my story with a protective bent.
“It’s all right,” I told her. “I take rejection well.” And it was true. Not always, but in most cases, now I can respond when someone says no in a more grown-up way, looking to God for guidance and trying to measure His pleasure with my efforts. That keeps me building, able to reach out to others and risk the rejection again, able to write more words and risk the rejection again, able to face roomfuls of expectant faces and risk the rejection again. It’s the finished floor beneath me that holds me steady so that I can try again. And given my record, that’s a pretty thick floor.
The fear of rejection is hard to kill, like one of those psychotic, axe-wielding villains in the basement of a teen horror movie. The Hebrews didn’t want to be rejected and ridiculed by those around them, so they chose to face the disapproval of God. Maybe you have some of those situations around you today, making it easier to dig in the dirt than step up a little higher. That’s why God sends helpers.
Every jobsite has a foreman in charge and a lot of helpers—those who can’t do your building for you but who can help. They can read blueprints, gather supplies, measure boards, sharpen tools. God sends them to you, so look out for the helpers at your jobsite. Learn from them by taking advantage of the lessons they’ve already learned, by watching how they face their fears and stay on the ladder despite swinging in the wind.
Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
Psalm 28:6-7
And if your critics crash your party, let me help you with that. That’s part of why we’re here, now, meeting in this book. I pray when we’re done that you’re more able to stand tall and unafraid upon your ladder, trusting God and claiming His promises no matter what anybody else says or does. The best is yet to be, one rung at a time. Let us be helpers to each other.
Stalled, fearing the impossible on your to-do list? Can’t you just see Moses after conversing with God at the world’s original bonfire, hear the soft thud of the heel of his palm against the side of his tilted head, the confusion and fear drawing wrinkles on his brow? But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you” (Exodus 3:11-12). When God makes our to-do list, He never needs an eraser, because He knows what we have and what we don’t, and what we have is plenty, because it’s Him. Who am I, who are you to do His will? We’re who He’s chosen. He still promises He’s with you.
Read below or download the study of Moses for yourself or your group.
A brief study of Moses
Our focus on Moses is found in Exodus 3 and 4
Chosen by God for one of the most important jobs ever, Moses hesitated, resisted, even argued with God about it because he feared the reactions from those around him. Chosen by God for an important job, you and I can do the same. We can sometimes let the fear of rejection and failure and everything we lack blind us to the amazing opportunities God’s organized and placed before us. Just call us Moses.
God had a plan and He needed an earthling to carry it out. No problem, got just the guy in mind, He must have thought.
“Now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt,” God told Moses from the bush on fire [Exodus 3:10]
But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” [3:11]
Huh? God tells Moses the plan and he balks at it? There we are again.
But God answered, “I will be with you.” [3:12]
I love that answer. It’s the one God speaks to us and the one we should hear more loudly than all the doubts and fears bouncing around in our heads every time a new venture appears to challenge us.
But before we can even study the terrain of the holy ground on which we stand when God says build, we get ahead of Him, spying the jagged stones that would trip us up, measuring the chunks of mountain in our way. And we focus extra attention on the living, breathing complications of our lives that might resist or criticize our work, fearing rejection and leaving God’s plan to burn away.
Our building today will be different from what God designed for Moses, but the same opposition often remains – and so does God’s response to our fear. He sees the finished product long before we can even begin, no doubt quite satisfied with His choice even when we wonder if He’s made a mistake.
God sent Moses to “all the elders of Israel” to tell them about their deliverance and the miracles to come to free them from the Egyptians. God’s pointing the way on His blueprints, but Moses is still afraid, seeing rejection instead of divine direction.
But Moses protested again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’?” [4:1]
Now thinking through the obstacles we may face in our work isn’t a bad idea, but allowing those obstacles to override God’s plan is. His promise to be with Moses [and us] in our building provides the foundation we need to deal with those interruptions, delays and even rejections by those around us. When Moses went on and on about his reservations, God even gave him three signs to prove His plan was a good one [Exodus 4:2-9].
And yet, that strong fear of rejection continued to plague Moses despite God’s presence and reassurance.
But Moses pleased with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” [4:10]
God explained that He was in charge of who speaks, hears and sees. “Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” [4:12]
You’d think that would have been enough. If God is going to hold our hands and guide our tongues, what more do we need? While I wouldn’t turn down a notarized guarantee and signed pledges of agreement from all those around me when I embark on a new project, I’ve yet to have that happen with anything I’ve tried to build.
And I’ve certainly talked myself out of grand possibilities plenty of times because I could only see the plan not happening, imagining all rejection and no progress. Moses was a master at finding excuses to avoid the risk too.
But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.”
Then the Lord became angry with Moses [4:13-14], perhaps even disappointed that His choice couldn’t trust His judgment. And for a moment, perhaps the great plan was in jeopardy? I doubt it, but I do wonder how many of our lesser plans God has juggled because of our protests and fears.
Perhaps like Moses, we fail to recognize all we do have to help us with our part of God’s plans. We don’t take inventory of our resources and build on everything God’s taught us in the past. We’re slow to believe in what God sees and even slower to trust Him to provide what we can’t for the build.
But God continues to work around our shortcomings just as He did for Moses. And true to His forgiving and caring nature, He forgave Moses his doubts and pointed out the help He had provided.
“What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and his heart will be glad when he sees you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.” [4:14-15] And so He did.
God never even entertains the idea that Moses will face so much rejection that he’ll fail to complete the job he’s been chosen for. He just continues to answer Moses’ resistance with support and promises of His presence. And Moses overcomes his fear with security and purpose.
God planned it, he built it.
God never doubts His choice of a weak and fearful earthling to build something mighty and everlasting. He just builds on the shaky human strength there so that Moses can climb up on his ladder with confidence and trust.
Surely Moses wanted to be what God could already see, but he was afraid. And that’s us too – wanting to be and grow and build and touch everything God already sees for us, but battling those same fears as old as the desert. Moses carried them to God and strapped on his toolbelt. That’s a pretty good plan for us too.
May God bless your building . . . .
o ~ o ~ o
How will you focus on God’s level of acceptance instead of everyone else’s? [hint: if you’re willing, He wants you.]
What resources have you failed to recognize to help you in your building? Factor them all in as you work on your plan for which God’s chosen you.
What are you arguing with God about right now, giving in to the fears instead of trusting in His control?
o ~ o ~ o
Download this study of Moses in pdf for easy printing for yourself or your group: Go here.
Thanks for being part of our tour . . . please post your comments and stories for all our readers. See you soon! God bless you.
Chosen by God for one of the most important jobs ever, Moses hesitated, resisted, even argued with God about it because he feared the reactions from those around him. Chosen by God for an important job, you and I can do the same. We can sometimes let the fear of rejection and failure and everything we lack blind us to the amazing opportunities God’s organized and placed before us. Just call us Moses.
God had a plan and He needed an earthling to carry it out. No problem, got just the guy in mind, He must have thought.
“Now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt,” God told Moses from the bush on fire [Exodus 3:10]
But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” [3:11]
Huh? God tells Moses the plan and he balks at it? There we are again.
But God answered, “I will be with you.” [3:12]
I love that answer. It’s the one God speaks to us and the one we should hear more loudly than all the doubts and fears bouncing around in our heads every time a new venture appears to challenge us.
But before we can even study the terrain of the holy ground on which we stand when God says build, we get ahead of Him, spying the jagged stones that would trip us up, measuring the chunks of mountain in our way. And we focus extra attention on the living, breathing complications of our lives that might resist or criticize our work, fearing rejection and leaving God’s plan to burn away.
Our building today will be different from what God designed for Moses, but the same opposition often remains – and so does God’s response to our fear. He sees the finished product long before we can even begin, no doubt quite satisfied with His choice even when we wonder if He’s made a mistake.
God sent Moses to “all the elders of Israel” to tell them about their deliverance and the miracles to come to free them from the Egyptians. God’s pointing the way on His blueprints, but Moses is still afraid, seeing rejection instead of divine direction.
But Moses protested again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you’?” [4:1]
Now thinking through the obstacles we may face in our work isn’t a bad idea, but allowing those obstacles to override God’s plan is. His promise to be with Moses [and us] in our building provides the foundation we need to deal with those interruptions, delays and even rejections by those around us. When Moses went on and on about his reservations, God even gave him three signs to prove His plan was a good one [Exodus 4:2-9].
And yet, that strong fear of rejection continued to plague Moses despite God’s presence and reassurance.
But Moses pleased with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.” [4:10]
God explained that He was in charge of who speaks, hears and sees. “Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” [4:12]
You’d think that would have been enough. If God is going to hold our hands and guide our tongues, what more do we need? While I wouldn’t turn down a notarized guarantee and signed pledges of agreement from all those around me when I embark on a new project, I’ve yet to have that happen with anything I’ve tried to build.
And I’ve certainly talked myself out of grand possibilities plenty of times because I could only see the plan not happening, imagining all rejection and no progress. Moses was a master at finding excuses to avoid the risk too.
But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.”
Then the Lord became angry with Moses [4:13-14], perhaps even disappointed that His choice couldn’t trust His judgment. And for a moment, perhaps the great plan was in jeopardy? I doubt it, but I do wonder how many of our lesser plans God has juggled because of our protests and fears.
Perhaps like Moses, we fail to recognize all we do have to help us with our part of God’s plans. We don’t take inventory of our resources and build on everything God’s taught us in the past. We’re slow to believe in what God sees and even slower to trust Him to provide what we can’t for the build.
But God continues to work around our shortcomings just as He did for Moses. And true to His forgiving and caring nature, He forgave Moses his doubts and pointed out the help He had provided.
“What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and his heart will be glad when he sees you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.” [4:14-15] And so He did.
God never even entertains the idea that Moses will face so much rejection that he’ll fail to complete the job he’s been chosen for. He just continues to answer Moses’ resistance with support and promises of His presence. And Moses overcomes his fear with security and purpose.
God planned it, he built it.
God never doubts His choice of a weak and fearful earthling to build something mighty and everlasting. He just builds on the shaky human strength there so that Moses can climb up on his ladder with confidence and trust.
Surely Moses wanted to be what God could already see, but he was afraid. And that’s us too – wanting to be and grow and build and touch everything God already sees for us, but battling those same fears as old as the desert. Moses carried them to God and strapped on his toolbelt. That’s a pretty good plan for us too.
May God bless your building . . . .
o ~ o ~ o
How will you focus on God’s level of acceptance instead of everyone else’s? [hint: if you’re willing, He wants you.]
What resources have you failed to recognize to help you in your building? Factor them all in as you work on your plan for which God’s chosen you.
What are you arguing with God about right now, giving in to the fears instead of trusting in His control?
o ~ o ~ o
Download this study of Moses in pdf for easy printing for yourself or your group: Go here.
Thanks for being part of our tour . . . please post your comments and stories for all our readers. See you soon! God bless you.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
April, 2010 -- Overcoming the fear of loss
"I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
Isaiah 46:4
This fear may be more prevalent now than in quite some time. So many of us or those we know are fearing a loss of a job or a home or the life we’ve led before. It’s easy to panic and worry and practically stop any building of any kind. But we don’t have to let this fear knock us off the ladder, because we can rest instead in this opportunity for grace to surround us like sunshine when there’s much work to do.
Sometimes the fear of a loss -- not even the loss itself -- can confuse our thinking and cause us to make poor choices. We can retreat, second-guess ourselves, refuse to trust God, and lose all faith in His provision and care. We forget the grace He supplies to meet this fear.
Fearing a loss won’t stop the loss -- unless of course it causes us to address and change some damaging behavior. Decide if that’s possible in your case and put a plan into effect to help yourself [for example, if you’re habitually late for work and afraid you’ll lose your job because of it, don’t be late. I know that may be a silly example, but you get the idea.], and it can work because of God’s grace that surrounds us like sunshine and energy when the to-do list is long and time is short.
Whether we’re afraid of losing something as real as a job or as hard to grasp as someone’s approval, too often -- before we rest in God’s grace -- we can be untrue to who we are. We might do something that’s stupid or a waste of time when we could do something else – build.
God’s presence and grace gives us a strategy to grip the ladder when we’re staring a loss in the face and wondering how to deal with it. We can honestly assess the situation before us, make smart choices, and continue to live as God’s directing us. He may not reveal the whole building plan to us all at once, but He’ll guide us with work to do today and then tomorrow. Our work that’s true to Him will replace the fear. Let’s take a quick look at each part of the strategy.
*We can honestly assess the situation before us. Often we fear what we don’t know, so it’s important to get as much information about the situation you’re afraid of that you can. Over-reaction, quick moves, careless words – all that just makes things worse. Ignoring a potentially serious situation with a head-in-the-sand attitude isn’t being honest about your life either. Know as much as you can about what you fear, then deal with it—smartly—and securely because you know you’re not alone.
*We can make smart choices. We can do the getting-to-work-on-time thing. We can do the work that’s required of us. We can keep promises or commitments. But perhaps more important than any of that, we can keep our minds focused on who we are in God’s plan -- not worry about what He’s no doubt already figured out anyway. I know that sounds simplistic and even patronizing, but the point is that the first smart choice we make every day when we’re fearing a loss is to choose God over the fear we feel, to receive His grace for that day, even for that moment, and reflect Him in the next thing we do.
*We can continue to live as God’s directing us -- doing as Peter himself advised: Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you [1 Peter 5:7]. We can build on the wall in front of us, one brick at a time. We can talk to Him frequently and listen to His guidance. We can remember everything He’s taught us, draw on the strength His presence provides, and we can walk through each day in trust -- that’s really all He asks. And if we do that, trust and obey without fear, we will build with His provision and care —- just like He planned all along ~~
because this opportunity for grace to surround us like sunshine when there’s much work to do is an opportunity we don’t want to miss.
- What are you afraid you’ll lose – a job, financial security, career opportunities, love, esteem? How have you faced any of those losses in the past and overcome them?
- How has the fear affected your relationship with God?
- What about your potential loss frightens you so? Is it because you feel alone or forgotten by God? How do you think God sees your fear?
o ~ o ~o
Please visit April's Partner Blogger: Tammy at My Heart . . . His words and join her as well as we explore this topic.
You can read below or download the study of Peter for yourself or your group.
Thanks for being part of our tour . . . please post your comments and stories for all our readers. See you soon! God bless you.
From the book . . .
Chapter 15
Now and later
We read about Moses leading the Israelites of his time (our story’s ancestors) out of Egypt and all the challenges they encountered. They were free! Released from the bonds of a tyrant, free to travel to a land promised by their God! How could they be anything but courageous and joyful! Oh, how indeed.
When everything didn’t go to suit them or wasn’t particularly comfortable, they fed off each other’s complaints, squeezed God out of their hearts, and gave in to the fear of the unknown. As the Hebrews were running from their Egyptian masters, the pursuers got close. The pursued got scared.
As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord.
Exodus 14:10
Now that crying out part make sense to us, and their action -- their turning to God for help -- must have even pleased Him. He could understand a momentary heart-stop because they had been captive a long time, and they didn’t have a Power Point presentation or website to tell them what lay ahead in the land of freedom. But it’s the next verse that’s so funny -- and so telling about our human nature that hasn’t changed since the beginning of time. When has our own sarcastic streak ridden in on a racehorse of fear? Wonder if God smiled?
The Israelites speak to Moses: “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?” (Exodus 14:11)
Well, there’s a Mt. Sinai’s worth of negative thinking and a heart empty of trust and worship. Apparently, they made the right appeal but didn’t listen to God’s answer or even give Him a chance to comfort them. Their fear turned them hard and cold, bitter and defeated. The children of Israel, God’s chosen, focused on a place to die instead of a life to live, too scared to remember the promises of their Lord.
But perhaps I should temper my criticism. Isn’t that me when God is leading me somewhere new, somewhere a little scary, somewhere I can't see?
When we see the pursuers of whatever form getting close to us, despite what assurances we’ve been given, we can sometimes lapse into desperate fear too. Unstable because we stand on trust as visible as bandwidth, we still wish for the life of a secure disciple at work, and wonder behind a closed curtain when our time will come.
What do you do when the bad guys are chasing you? What do you do when your efforts to grow fruit (John 15:5) meet criticism and greed from those you seek to help? What do you do when the relationship you expected by now hasn’t come and you feel alone? What do you do when resources you counted on in the past are gone?
Fear comes, no doubt about it, but it never comes alone. It brings courage or collapse on its heals. We have to choose quickly, because fear and collapse can make us do strange things, like stand wet-legged in the very river that would carry us closer to God while we complain about the scenery. Courage says build a boat.
~ ~ ~
Hard Hat Zone
Building in the moments
Your temple -- your life -- is not like one of those super-compressed towels you place in water that expands fifty-fold in three seconds. It’s the daily weaving of all the threads together to form something that more closely resembles Christ, made from the pattern He’s drawn for us. So the building we do in those moments of fear make more or less of our temples.
In the moment when fear threatens to overtake you, remember to grip the ladder tighter and focus only on the rung immediately ahead of you. Say yes to the part that says “I believe I can keep building,” and do what is within your reach at that moment. God will supply the courage you need for that moment and the rest to come -- if your focus remains on Him instead of the rubble or horizon around you. That’s His department.
At that fearful moment -- the worrisome diagnosis from the doctor, a damaging secret revealed in your marriage, a friend’s betrayal -- whatever shakes your ladder:
* pray first and don’t stop
* rest your body and mind
* thank God for His grace to bear this situation
* be where you need to be
* let go of minor thoughts
* take care of your basic needs
* gather your facts and check your resources
* focus on God’s control
* listen for your immediate guidance—nothing more
* do what you see—nothing more
* trust God to see what you don’t.
All of this behavior in trust prepares you to combat the stifling fear and handle well the situation you’re facing. One step at a time is the only way to work through these especially frightful times, and it’s all God asks. Build in these moments a lifetime of trust.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
Read below or download the study of Peter for yourself or your group.
Now and later
We read about Moses leading the Israelites of his time (our story’s ancestors) out of Egypt and all the challenges they encountered. They were free! Released from the bonds of a tyrant, free to travel to a land promised by their God! How could they be anything but courageous and joyful! Oh, how indeed.
When everything didn’t go to suit them or wasn’t particularly comfortable, they fed off each other’s complaints, squeezed God out of their hearts, and gave in to the fear of the unknown. As the Hebrews were running from their Egyptian masters, the pursuers got close. The pursued got scared.
As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord.
Exodus 14:10
Now that crying out part make sense to us, and their action -- their turning to God for help -- must have even pleased Him. He could understand a momentary heart-stop because they had been captive a long time, and they didn’t have a Power Point presentation or website to tell them what lay ahead in the land of freedom. But it’s the next verse that’s so funny -- and so telling about our human nature that hasn’t changed since the beginning of time. When has our own sarcastic streak ridden in on a racehorse of fear? Wonder if God smiled?
The Israelites speak to Moses: “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?” (Exodus 14:11)
Well, there’s a Mt. Sinai’s worth of negative thinking and a heart empty of trust and worship. Apparently, they made the right appeal but didn’t listen to God’s answer or even give Him a chance to comfort them. Their fear turned them hard and cold, bitter and defeated. The children of Israel, God’s chosen, focused on a place to die instead of a life to live, too scared to remember the promises of their Lord.
But perhaps I should temper my criticism. Isn’t that me when God is leading me somewhere new, somewhere a little scary, somewhere I can't see?
When we see the pursuers of whatever form getting close to us, despite what assurances we’ve been given, we can sometimes lapse into desperate fear too. Unstable because we stand on trust as visible as bandwidth, we still wish for the life of a secure disciple at work, and wonder behind a closed curtain when our time will come.
What do you do when the bad guys are chasing you? What do you do when your efforts to grow fruit (John 15:5) meet criticism and greed from those you seek to help? What do you do when the relationship you expected by now hasn’t come and you feel alone? What do you do when resources you counted on in the past are gone?
Fear comes, no doubt about it, but it never comes alone. It brings courage or collapse on its heals. We have to choose quickly, because fear and collapse can make us do strange things, like stand wet-legged in the very river that would carry us closer to God while we complain about the scenery. Courage says build a boat.
~ ~ ~
Hard Hat Zone
Building in the moments
Your temple -- your life -- is not like one of those super-compressed towels you place in water that expands fifty-fold in three seconds. It’s the daily weaving of all the threads together to form something that more closely resembles Christ, made from the pattern He’s drawn for us. So the building we do in those moments of fear make more or less of our temples.
In the moment when fear threatens to overtake you, remember to grip the ladder tighter and focus only on the rung immediately ahead of you. Say yes to the part that says “I believe I can keep building,” and do what is within your reach at that moment. God will supply the courage you need for that moment and the rest to come -- if your focus remains on Him instead of the rubble or horizon around you. That’s His department.
At that fearful moment -- the worrisome diagnosis from the doctor, a damaging secret revealed in your marriage, a friend’s betrayal -- whatever shakes your ladder:
* pray first and don’t stop
* rest your body and mind
* thank God for His grace to bear this situation
* be where you need to be
* let go of minor thoughts
* take care of your basic needs
* gather your facts and check your resources
* focus on God’s control
* listen for your immediate guidance—nothing more
* do what you see—nothing more
* trust God to see what you don’t.
All of this behavior in trust prepares you to combat the stifling fear and handle well the situation you’re facing. One step at a time is the only way to work through these especially frightful times, and it’s all God asks. Build in these moments a lifetime of trust.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
Read below or download the study of Peter for yourself or your group.
A brief study of Peter
When we think of Peter, we think of someone strong and noble, born to lead and led by his own heart. That’s true, but there’s always something more we can learn from a peek into Peter’s life.
Peter might seem an unlikely person to take a look at regarding any fears, because we know him as “the rock” Jesus would build His church on [Matthew 16:18], but Peter was not without weaknesses. He was afraid of losing something one time too, perhaps his place in a group or acceptance among those in power, but what he learned was that our faith must rest in God because only from there can we build anything.
Despite Peter’s claims of loyalty, Jesus told him, “I tell you the truth, Peter—before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.” [John 13:38] And of course, that’s what happened. Among soldiers, guards and even slaves of the high priest after Jesus’ arrest, Peter denied being one of Christ’s disciples. Was it the fear of being identified with Jesus and losing the comfort and ease he was used to that caused Peter to make such poor choices?
Sometimes we do that. The fear of losing something transient in this life can make us behave poorly because we’re trusting more in what we have here [security, power, position] than what we have in God. We see something slipping away, or the potential for that to happen, and we grab on tighter and speak or behave contrary to our true feelings.
Of course Peter loved Jesus, but fear kept him from building right then when he had the opportunity and caused him to tear down instead. And we can learn much from him when we’re faced with a similar situation, when we’re afraid to be true to who we are. When Peter realized what he’d done, he cried, aware of his betrayal [Matthew 26:75].
He knew that nothing was worth denying his Savior because everything comes from God and we can trust His provision and care—and His forgiveness. No matter what we have or what we may lose, it doesn’t change God’s grasp of our lives.
Peter wrote to Jewish Christians who were in a tight spot—facing trials and persecutions from those who didn’t agree with their faith. No doubt they feared the loss of everything including their lives. Peter talked to them about enduring those fears with grace and faith.
These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. [1 Peter 1:7]
Peter is saying that no matter what the world threatens us with, God is still God, still in charge of all our building and completely understanding of our human fears and weaknesses. The best response is simple trust.
Humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. [1 Peter 5:6-7], Peter says.
God planned it, he built it.
Loss or potential loss seems be around us all the time, but we can choose to trust in God’s provision and care and build anyway. We can learn from our mistakes and live up to the life Jesus set aside for us as surely as He chose Peter to build upon. Despite his stumbles and mistakes, the build continued just as God planned. So will ours if we’ll learn from our mistakes as well and make ourselves available again to God, whether we face a loss or not. Doesn’t really make any difference—trust is what matters.
I know we both understand the fear of loss. It’s terrifying and paralyzing in some cases, but God doesn’t change because our circumstances might. If what we counted on in the past is gone, God will replace it with something else, and we will see that what we need to count on the most is Him and His care and provision, despite our own “rooster crowing” moments. The jobsite remains.
So lets strap on our toolbelt despite our fear, leave our misjudgments and mis-thinking in the past, and focus only on what our Architect puts in front of us to build. We can carry on unafraid when we build with faith in God’s provision and care. He didn’t give up on Peter, and He’ll never give us on us either.
May God bless your building . . . .
o ~ o ~o
How have you let the fear of loss dictate your actions in the past?
How have your fear-driven decisions helped you—or have you seen that they’ve interfered with your building along God’s plan instead?
As losses have come and gone in your life, how have you gotten better at dealing with that fear and trusting God’s provision and care?
o ~ o ~o
Download this study of Peter in pdf for easy printing for yourself or your group: Go here.
Thanks for being part of our tour . . . please post your comments and stories for all our readers. See you soon! God bless you.
Peter might seem an unlikely person to take a look at regarding any fears, because we know him as “the rock” Jesus would build His church on [Matthew 16:18], but Peter was not without weaknesses. He was afraid of losing something one time too, perhaps his place in a group or acceptance among those in power, but what he learned was that our faith must rest in God because only from there can we build anything.
Despite Peter’s claims of loyalty, Jesus told him, “I tell you the truth, Peter—before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.” [John 13:38] And of course, that’s what happened. Among soldiers, guards and even slaves of the high priest after Jesus’ arrest, Peter denied being one of Christ’s disciples. Was it the fear of being identified with Jesus and losing the comfort and ease he was used to that caused Peter to make such poor choices?
Sometimes we do that. The fear of losing something transient in this life can make us behave poorly because we’re trusting more in what we have here [security, power, position] than what we have in God. We see something slipping away, or the potential for that to happen, and we grab on tighter and speak or behave contrary to our true feelings.
Of course Peter loved Jesus, but fear kept him from building right then when he had the opportunity and caused him to tear down instead. And we can learn much from him when we’re faced with a similar situation, when we’re afraid to be true to who we are. When Peter realized what he’d done, he cried, aware of his betrayal [Matthew 26:75].
He knew that nothing was worth denying his Savior because everything comes from God and we can trust His provision and care—and His forgiveness. No matter what we have or what we may lose, it doesn’t change God’s grasp of our lives.
Peter wrote to Jewish Christians who were in a tight spot—facing trials and persecutions from those who didn’t agree with their faith. No doubt they feared the loss of everything including their lives. Peter talked to them about enduring those fears with grace and faith.
These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. [1 Peter 1:7]
Peter is saying that no matter what the world threatens us with, God is still God, still in charge of all our building and completely understanding of our human fears and weaknesses. The best response is simple trust.
Humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. [1 Peter 5:6-7], Peter says.
God planned it, he built it.
Loss or potential loss seems be around us all the time, but we can choose to trust in God’s provision and care and build anyway. We can learn from our mistakes and live up to the life Jesus set aside for us as surely as He chose Peter to build upon. Despite his stumbles and mistakes, the build continued just as God planned. So will ours if we’ll learn from our mistakes as well and make ourselves available again to God, whether we face a loss or not. Doesn’t really make any difference—trust is what matters.
I know we both understand the fear of loss. It’s terrifying and paralyzing in some cases, but God doesn’t change because our circumstances might. If what we counted on in the past is gone, God will replace it with something else, and we will see that what we need to count on the most is Him and His care and provision, despite our own “rooster crowing” moments. The jobsite remains.
So lets strap on our toolbelt despite our fear, leave our misjudgments and mis-thinking in the past, and focus only on what our Architect puts in front of us to build. We can carry on unafraid when we build with faith in God’s provision and care. He didn’t give up on Peter, and He’ll never give us on us either.
May God bless your building . . . .
o ~ o ~o
How have you let the fear of loss dictate your actions in the past?
How have your fear-driven decisions helped you—or have you seen that they’ve interfered with your building along God’s plan instead?
As losses have come and gone in your life, how have you gotten better at dealing with that fear and trusting God’s provision and care?
o ~ o ~o
Download this study of Peter in pdf for easy printing for yourself or your group: Go here.
Thanks for being part of our tour . . . please post your comments and stories for all our readers. See you soon! God bless you.
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